Just know I love you

To : My Grandson (Entry 1)
From : Benjamin Clasen

Well if you are reading this you might think I have a grandson.  Not yet.  I am thirty six years old but have gained some wisdom in life that I think could be relevant to any young man's life that I would like to share.  Just easier to think of that I am writing to my Grandson from a ship at sea just not really knowing what Big Blue is about to do and if I will see him again.

I believe that almost everyone has some point where they have to make a real decision on how they are going to live the rest of their lives.  Some it is early on some it is later.  Some decisions there really is no turning back from and you just have to live with it and deal with it for the rest of your life. 

Sometimes you will be given a second chance to make a fresh and new impression on the world and that is where I am at right now.

A year ago today I made a decision.  I decided that I was going to give one last shot at getting off psychiatric medication in hopes of having children and living a long and prosperous life.

If you are my grandson and you are reading this and you are a healthy happy young man I guess that I can be happy in that I was successful.

You know I had a grandpa once too.  He was and still is my hero.  I never really did understand too well why he never really did stress too much about anything. He squeezed out tunes on his accordion and just had a great time and then as he got older he just never really sweated stuff too much.

Just before he died he told me one bit of information that gave me hope in my struggles with what was thought to be a mental illness that ran in my family.  Turns out I have a traumatic brain injury that was misdiagnosed and I am recovering well now that I have the right diagnosis.  Anyways Jack (I hope that is your name) I just want to tell you some stories of my life while I try to learn more about my grandpa.  He kept a few things to himself until the very end but he always told me what I needed to hear.

I remember two of the last things that he told me.  One was that during the War (World War II) he had orders as a Marine in the South Pacific and they were followed.  Sometime that meant killing sometimes that meant doing other thing that haunted him to the day he died.  The second was he told me that sometime after the war he spent some time in a psychiatric hospital.  That is about all I know from the six years he spent serving our Country.  That and he never got shot (he finally got appendicitis and was sent home)  and that he knew Eleanor Roosevelt well at one time.

That and I know he love his dear sweet wife Anne and his two little girls Julie and Suzy.

Ironic as it is it was those last little stories that gave me the faith in God and ultimately myself to know that I could accomplish what most doctors these days will tell you is impossible.

Let me tell you Son All things are Possible Thru Christ.

I pray I get to tell you a little about him someday.  My grandfather and Christ that is.

Love,

Grandpa Ben